Cockneys vs Zombies
Reviewed by Andy
Ronseal really should start sponsoring movies, with films like Snakes On A Plane, Man On A Ledge, My Dinner With Andre and now Cockneys vs Zombies there’s an increasing number of titles that really do exactly what they say on the tin. (Product placement cheque is in the post, right?) The zombie apocalypse has arrived courtesy of some greedy workmen looking to loot a crypt marked as sealed by royal decree in 1666 – and so with the evidence of Terileptils and 5’s sonic screwdriver in there too, obviously – and it’s all kicked off in East London. Bad news for the zombies…
The story follows two brothers (Andy and Terry, played by Harry Treadaway and Rasmus Hardicker) who decide that the only way they can raise the money to save their grandad’s care home is to rob a bank. So they enlist the help of their cousin (Michelle Ryan), well-intentioned but rarely-successful Davey (Jack Doolan) and Mental Mickey (Ashley Bashy Thomas) for whom the nickname is something of an understatement. Perfect time for zombies to get involved then… they may be slow, but old people can be slower!
This idea along with the cockney acceptance of the whatever comes their way underpins the movie, and while the younger generation are the ones we follow for the “rescue”, the real stars are those in the home. Joining ubercockney Alan Ford are such TV and movie royalty as Honor Blackman (Pussy Galore herself!), Georgina Hale (Daisy K in The Happiness Patrol), Tony Selby (Glitz), Richard Briers (Paradise Towers) and Dudley Sutton, and they show age really is just a number when it comes to zombie-bashing. The film is gleefully un-PC and with a good sense of its own silliness, which are tied by James Moran’s brilliantly funny script into set-pieces, one liners and visual gags that will satisfy both zombie and comedy fans alike. Plus we get to see the answer to questions like “do zombies still support football teams?”, “how would you really deal with a zombie baby?” and “what would you call a zombie in rhyming slang?”
Excellent music choices and neat directing and editing (all about the Star Wars-style wipe cuts!) add up to a film that can proudly stand as a great British zombie film and a cracking comedy to boot. And keep an ear out during the closing credits for a proper zombie-themed knees up by Chas and Dave! ****
Cockneys vs Zombies shuffles onto DVD and Blu-Ray on October 22, including just over 20 minutes of Behind the Scenes featurettes (watchable individually or all together), a four minute Zombie School shown to the extras before filming, and the trailer. The first run also has a neat lenticular slipcase.